Christians are straight up FREAKS
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
