he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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