But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Randomize
