Tell her she can't have a vagina
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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