i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
