conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
