It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
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i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
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I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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