And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
