i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
