:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
