the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
