one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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