life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
