brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
