Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Also, beer. Big fan.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
