Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
