Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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