On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
