yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
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