he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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