I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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