He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
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i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
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My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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