I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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