During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
