You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
