and you said cock pushups were impossible
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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