I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
we should paint friendship bongs
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