You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
