If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize