also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
