Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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