you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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