Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
