omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
