You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
