Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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