Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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