Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
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