I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
