if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
