When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
