Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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