Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
