he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize