PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
