you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
