I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
