Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
