You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
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Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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