new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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