I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
