Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
