I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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