This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I look excited, but its just a facade.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
