We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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