he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
