Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
