awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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