woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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