is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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