I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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