So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
