I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
