Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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