I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
