Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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