i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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