just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
