yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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