everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
