brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
