Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
