Yo dont text me then not text me
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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