awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
