The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
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Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
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Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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