one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
