I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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