it wasn't lemon gatorade
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
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I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
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not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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